(I originally wrote this post with spiritual practice in mind but I think the ideas apply to choosing a teacher in any area of life.)


If one is serious about spiritual growth one should find a trustworthy and experienced mentor.

You should observe your potential teacher carefully.

Being drawn to a teacher and intuitively trusting him is important but it may not be enough. Manipulative people can also be very attractive yet in reality they only want followers for their own agenda. A good teacher on the other hand has a genuine desire to be of service to his/her students.

Carefully check if he practices what he preaches. This can be difficult because there is some controversy surrounding practically every person who has ever risen far enough above mediocrity. My Buddhist teacher used to smuggle and do drugs and I just found out that Steve Pavlina (also influential in my life) was a kleptomaniac when he was a teenager. You can even find controversial information about people like the Dalai Lama (after all he is involved in politics :) ) if you dig deep enough.

So how do we decide whether to trust a guru or not?

Well, if he's not trying to conceal his past "mistakes", if it's obvious that he's learned his lessons and moved on then that would make him even more trustworthy in my book then someone who tries to convince people that he was born enlightened.

Further when there is criticism of his or her present activity, one should check if that criticism is based on facts or is it just gossips and wild theories.

The teacher should be able to balance kindness and strictness. He should be able to comfort the students when they need it and challenge them when they are stagnating.

Finally it is great if you can meet your guru in person at least once in a while. Having a real connection with an experienced teacher brings fast results.